Why would you stuff corn up your nose?

A little tea for my thoughts?

Well I have had a very exciting couple days. Well no not really.

While I was at the gym last night my son stuffed corn up his nose. Yes I said corn.

This landed us in the ER.

Seriously what is it about kids sticking stuff up their nose????

My cousin put styrofoam and my other cousin put popcorn.

I never thought stuffing anything in my nose would be something exciting to do.

Then again I am not 2 years old.

Still he gave me a damn heart-attack but the whole time he was just laughing about it thinking it was the funniest thing on the way to the ER and it didn't bother him he even took a nap. If I had something stuck in my nose I wouldn't be able to sleep. 

Anyone have their kids stuff something up their nose?

I have to tell you the experience at the hospital was not what I was expecting.

They had me lay down on the bed and put him on my lap laying down. 

Then I held his arms and the other nurse held his legs while ANOTHER nurse held his head. 

Yes it took three of us to control my son.

Then they stuck a tube with an inflatable balloon at the end of the tube down his nose then inflated it. Then there came the corn. He sneezed and another one came out. 

How much damn corn did he get in there?

One thing for sure no more small food for him or the hospital will be rich.

$550 for corn to be taken out of his nose. Lovely.

Lets do the math.

Corn= $0.88

Hospital= $550

Hospital won.

*****

In other news I have lost a good amount of weight but yet the past couple days I have been stuck at the same weight. I dropped a lot over the weekend and then now I am not moving in my weight. I go to the gym every day and eat well but nothing. So I am just going to assume I am gaining muscle and leave it at that.

Who am I kidding????

WHY CAN'T I LOSE WEIGHT!?!?!?!?!?

My body does not seem to understand I am trying to lose weight for a reason and that reason is coming up soon. 

My cousins party has come and I haven't found a dress, shoes, or anything in the sort.

My body hates me.

I don't know what else to do except do what I am doing and hope that I lose something out of it by the time of the party. 

Sigh*

Weightloss Fail.

*****

Deanna

Easy 280 Calorie Breakfast Burrito

Ingredients:

1 Flour Tortilla

1 Large Egg (you can use an egg white to make it healthier)

1/2 cup mix of white onion and green bell peppers

1/2 cup of Jimmy Deans Hearty Sausage Crumbles (turkey)

1 TBSP of Sriracha Sauce (thai hot sauce)

Instructions:

Add unsalted butter just a small amount in a non stick pan.

Once the butter is spread around and melted add the egg (don't scramble).

On top of the egg add the turkey sausage, peppers, onions, and sriracha.

Toss lightly.

Let the bottom brown lightly then turn over wait until that side has lightly browned.

Warm up the tortilla in a pan or microwave which ever you prefer.

Put the tortilla on a plate and add the filling.

I can't wrap a burrito to save my life so I just did it like the picture and used a toothpick to hold it together.

The sriracha sauce is what makes this meal delicious. 

You can use tabasco or whatever else you like but the flavor with the sriracha is unbeatable.

You can use as much or as little as you would like. I like heat so I put quite a bit and sometimes even add more after.

Enjoy!

Deanna

Good-Bye Implanon (WARNING GRAPHIC)

My doctor slicing my arm leaving a hole, pulling with tweezers, and that stick right there was in my arm.

So today I removed my implant after many issues. I gained an obscene amount of weight and have a period lasting over two weeks.

I had it for two years now. The only reason I got it is because I did not want a period anymore since my periods are quite HORRIBLE!

So let me tell you the story of what happened today. . . .

"Tan" the nurse calls me in for my dreaded appointment. I walk through the door and am being lead into a room. All while thinking about the videos I watched last night about removing this nasty thing inside me. (Don't ever do that by the way. Don't watch videos of a procedure your going to have its not good for you). She weighed me (gross), checked my blood pressure (normal), checked my temperature (normal), and checked my pulse (normal).

She left the room saying that my doctor will be in shortly.

"Okay are you ready to do this? I have been trained to remove this but I have only done it once before and never inserted one before" my doctor tells me as my eye bug out in fear and my palms start sweating profusely. 

She numbs me up and I feel a small pinch.

I stare at her as she preps the scalpel, gauze, tweezers, and other things needed. All thinking OMG she has only done this once before I AM GOING TO BE SICK!

So the doctor says "put your arm over your head and just relax." How the hell am I supposed to relax? Is she serious?????

She starts to make a cut a small one at first then gets a tweezer to try to pull out the implanon. Then she looks at me and says "I am going to have to cut it a little more I can't seem to get it." Oh yay I can't wait.

So she starts cutting more and I HEAR the cutting and I seriously made me almost vomit. I told her that was disgusting that I could hear the cutting. 

Then she said "Okay I am going to try to pull it out again okay?" 

She starts DIGGING into the hole she made and then she realized the tweezer she had was slanted and started laughing then went to get a new one. So far today has been hell.

She comes back in the room with a new pair then starts digging again and trying to pull it out. Then finally she pulls it out and says "Oh this is really long I was trying to pull it from the middle not the end where I should have been pulling it." I just about died right there. In the picture above you can see the dent and that she pulled from the wrong spot.

Four hours later I am left with a bruise that is only going to get worse and a hole in my arm. 

I placed a bandaid on it because it not only scares me but its a freaking open wound.

Seriously I am never doing this ever again.

(Takes an ibuprofen and some water)

Deanna

Get me out of this heat wave!

Hot Hot Hot

So living in Arizona has a down fall. It is damn hot as all heck here and I seriously want out. Recently my son had his birthday and he received a pool from Roko. Yes he got a gift from the dog. It was a nice way for them to cool off in this 112 degree weather. I don't want to go outside at all in this heat its disgusting. For the people in cooler weather YOU ARE SO LUCKY! 

Do not wish for heat like this. Please. Don't. 

Even at night when I am sleeping I am in a complete sweat. My mom leaves the AC on 84 degrees which leaves me in a death sauna because both me and my son are sleep sweat people. I know that is gross but hey thats life deal with it. I have my room fan on high and my floor fan on high and I still can't get comfortable leaving me not able to sleep worth anything.

So that leaves me to feeling miserable since yesterday. I wake up with a sore throat that seems to go away through the day and my body aches like someone beat me with a stick. Sounds lovely right? 

Tomorrow I am getting my birth control Implanon taken out because its given me a close to 2 week period and my weight has been stuck and won't move. People tell me that once I take it out that I will be able to lose better. Which I am excited for. I am just not excited for normal periods again since I haven't dealt with this in a long time.

I will willingly take pictures of the procedure just for you all. I will label it as DISTURBING because needles, blades, and blood are involved in this. Yes for you disturbed individuals like me this is exciting. 

Time for dessert to stuff my face further into a deep swell of jiggly fat.

I will enjoy myself.

Deanna

Bobo's 2nd Birthday!

Happy 2nd Birthday Raizo!

I haven't been blogging in a while because it was my sons birthday. It was hectic and crazy for a while getting everything we needed for the party but it went smoothly. Well except for the fact that he was clinging on to me about 80% of the time! So this post is going to be quite picture heavy. So lets get started!

I made this watermelon shark STUFFED with a variety of fruits. 

He was quite easy to make and everyone loved it!

Octopus vegetable dip. I made a vegetable dip with sour cream, spinach, and Knorr's vegetable mix. It really hit off well and was basically done by the end of the party.

Best part? Left over vegetables went into my stir fry!

This is the full table with a TON of food. I had enough to feed an army and almost everyone took a huge container of food home.

On this side of the table we have the Ciopinno (seafood soup filled with mussels, squid, shrimp, and scallops), pasta salad with onions, jicama, cherry tomatoes, shrimp, apples, and pasta with italian dressing, the shark fruit bowl, BBQ marinated ribs, and the octopus veggie dip.

On this side of the table we had tequila lime shrimp, fresh salsa with tortilla strips, octopus hot dogs in a blanket, summer rolls that my Uncle made for me which were delicious with a peanut butter sauce, and fried noodles with snow peas and sliced fish. You can also see some of the candy bar.

Here is the candy bar. I have the goody bags/cans in the back filled with a self inflating balloon, two single packs of koolaid, a clapper toy, two bottles of bubbles, a crazy straw, and fruit snacks. The candy bar had twizzlers, jolly rancher sticks, a mix of dark, white, and milk chocolate kit-kats, swedish fish, baby blue metallic sixlets, and a mix of tropical, sour, and original smarties, blue cotton candy lollipops, and jolly rancher lollipops I made with a swedish fish in the middle.

Here are the lollipops I made up close and personal. They were super easy to make and I stuck swedish fish in there to keep with the ocean theme. I am making a video on this so keep an eye out for that. They were really yummy and were a hit with the kids.

Here is me, the birthday boy, my aunt and my uncle. They ADORE Raizo so much!

Here is me, the birthday boy, Roko, Lina, and my mom. The only way he would take a picture is if I put Roko in the picture!

The children of the party. We have my kids cousins who Raizo loves to play with and of course you know who everyone else is!

It was time to blow out his candles and he was just scared because of all the singing he was not used to it. 

Wohoo here he is "blowing" out his candle. I had to do it because he couldn't blow hard enough. I hope his birthday wish came true.

Here are all the kids with the loads of gifts that Bobo got on his birthday. It was a bit overwhelming how much he really got that day. He could not make up his mind on what he wanted to play with first. But then he decided his new car toy with a trailer is the one he had to get crazy with.

I assembled his bike that night and seriously it was the hardest thing to assemble. I even sliced my finger it was so gross. No pain no gain I guess! 

He received a bike, Octonauts play set, LeapPad2, 4 games for the LeapPad, case for the LeapPad, silicone cover for the LeapPad, a dog guitar that is seriously awesome, a truck, t-shirt, a car/truck set with a trailer, a pool, Cars 2 AppMates for the iPad, and money.

He really had a amazing time and he loves playing with everything. His favorite thing to play with is the Octonauts play set that his June baby friend got him. 

Overall all that hard work I put into this party was so worth it all. 

Thank you everyone that came to the party and celebrated his big day.

Deanna

Struggle.

Did not know which picture to put so here is Roko!

I have to say losing weight is so damn HARD. Some people make it look so easy. I have been stuck at the same weight for a while now with no loss. I know I have some things I need to change like eating late at night out of boredom, eating quick food, and not counting my calories and weighing my food like I used to do.

So I have made a really big decision and it is not a easy one because I have done it before. I plan on eliminating all meat except fish. Plus no rice. So I am going to be a pescetarian. I always say I am going to be one then not end up doing it. It should be an easy transition since my son is already one as well. 

Previously for a few years I lived a vegan life style and lost a lot of weight and my body and health was amazing. So I know this is the right way for me to go. So I will be eating fish, dairy, and such but not eating beef, chicken, pork, lamb, and so on. Since I know the diet and everything my meals should be quite easy.

One thing will be my mountain. Eating while traveling that is going to be a struggle. It is so hard to be able to find healthy food on the road. I will take you a long with me of course when I travel and so on.

*****

I know I have not blogged in a few days. My sons second birthday is this Friday and his party is on Saturday so I have been preparing, cleaning, and finishing all homework for this week so that way my weekend is clear. Since my son does not eat meat we will be having a lot of seafood and that helps me too on my transition of being a pescetarian. Since I have been so busy of course I have not been to the gym and I have been snacking on pretzels and so on the past few days. So once again I know I am failing at losing weight right now. I will be focusing on my sons party then back to business! I have to lose this weight I am determined but it is just such a struggle.

I bought my son a LeapPad for his birthday. He LOVES my iPhone and iPad so I know this will be something he loves to play with too plus it is more educational. I will have pictures up of the party so don't worry! I will make sure to get a ton of pictures!

*****

*WOMAN PROBLEMS NOT FOR GUYS*

So I have the implanon birth control since my periods are super heavy and painful. Suddenly I got my period and then a week later I get it again. I think it is time to take this thing out. It is not helping me in anyway since my periods are back I am back to being miserable. The only reason I got birth control is because I wanted my periods to GO AWAY! bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh. I will be making an appointment to get it taken out next week then I will have a normal period again which is going to suck but its better then getting a damn period every week.

*****

I have been having these thoughts about writing a book (like I even have the damn time). I get anxious to write and get a story going all the time. I guess that means I should start something even if it is small right? It wouldn't hurt to write a book when I get the time to do it. I wrote a few books when I was younger and that was so much fun. So I think thats the plan now to write a book, take care of my kids, go to school, make charms, be a single mother, cook, clean, blog, and so on. This should be interesting!

*****

I rearranged my furniture in my house yet AGAIN. I get so bored that I change my furniture constantly which annoys the crap out of my mom and my kids but I like change and this is an easy change to do its not something drastic and it is something I can control. Oh and I did a huge deep clean of my kitchen yesterday! I was so tired and I started decorating for my sons party! Today I have to finish the rest of the house but my son is still asleep and I don't want to wake him up or he will be cranky all day long then I will not be able to get anything done!

*****

Am I making things harder by trying to write a book?

Anyone out there reading this?

*****

Deanna

Exhausted.

I am beyond exhausted today. From Bobo teething and being cranky, hardly sleeping, and I just feel like there are not enough hours in a day anymore. 

Need to stop watching TV at night.

As I type this I am falling asleep. I was watching something last night on the Discovery Channel about Mermaids and finding the body of one. I could not stop watching it. Don't you hate it when you are so tired and you want to sleep but then something good comes on TV and ruins everything? I mean this is why I don't have a TV in my room but I do have the iPad and it has TV on it so I can watch it. Yet it never fails right when I am about to sleep BOOM! a show that is really interesting catches me. I know put the iPad away or something. I can't its like another gadget I am addicted to a lot of people have the same problem! I am not alone in this right? Tell me I am right so I don't feel like I am a loner. I swear electronics take over everything now a days. Well thats life I guess everything is dependent on electronics.

*****

My little monster a couple days old.

My sons birthday is coming up quickly. 10 days. I can't believe he is going to be two years old already. I can remember when he was born he was so small now he is huge and talking! Now I have a child in his terrible two stage where he screams and goes crazy for every little thing. Now I am a very patient person. I can handle a lot but screaming all day hurts my ears and I get frustrated when he is frustrated because I don't know what he wants and he can't tell me what he wants yet. 

His first birthday.

Oh did I say I was still nursing? Yes I am still breastfeeding and plan to keep on doing so. If you have something to say about that go for it I have heard it all and this is my choice. He is my last child so I am going to keep doing this. Thats probably another reason he is clingy to me. I don't mind clingy but I would love to be able to shower on my own in piece without a hand under the door or knocking with "MOMMYYYYYY BOOB" at every second of my shower. I have to say though Bobo is an awesome eater. He amazes me because my daughter was a horrible eater. She was super picky. Well I mean he won't eat meat but hey he eats his vegetables! 

*****

Focus on the steaks in the background. Stare and dream of the steak. I sure do.

By the way this was in Vegas thats my Aunt Alona with me.

I have lost 0.5lbs from yesterday. I have to say I am surprised I had a bit of craziness at night with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I need to get this damn junk the hell away from me. If I know its in the house I will eat it. So my pact now is to not buy any sweets or junk AT ALL from now on. Well except for my sons birthday party. I just won't eat the crap. Anyways I haven't exercised because its so damn hot outside and my "monthly friend" has joined me after 3 years so I feel like a complete B*TCH. For any male readers I have I am sorry but I am a woman and I deal with these things. Shall I get it out of your system now? Menstruation, vagina, breasts, and I don't know what else. There now thats done right? Back to business. Since my "monthly friend" all I want is sweets or salty food that I should not be eating. Plus the feeling is just a miserable one that I don't miss at all. Cramps are not my friend. Seriously I feel like I have food poisoning or I am in a punching battle with my woman parts. By the way my woman parts are winning this battle and my Motrin is losing by the minute. 

*****

This isn't a secret. Then again some of you might not know me. I LOVE DISNEY.

Spending Christmas at Disneyland this year with my mom and the kids. I love Disney so much. Why? It makes me feel like a kid and I have always gone to Disney ever since I was little its like a comfort zone for me. The picture above was at Disney California before World of Color started. I try to go to Disneyland at least once a year. I can't wait for Christmas this year.

With my cousins on California Screamin' I swear we rode that like 5 times.

We kept posing the whole ride in able to get a good picture. 

*****

This girl is on summer break now.

I feel like I don't have enough things for her to do in a day. She gets so BORED. 

I guess that means I need to give her homework to keep her busy! 

She has been so wonderful with her brother though!

*****

Well thats the end of this post for now. I am surprised I wrote so much!

Is anyone reading this?

Deanna

Healthy Cheese Stuffed Burger

A healthy cheese stuffed burger? WHAT????

Yes it is true because you use lean beef and fat free cheese!

You will need:

1lb of lean ground beef

1 tbsp garlic powder

1 tbsp black pepper

2 tbsp worcestershire sauce

1 finely chopped onion

Fat Free Sliced Cheese chopped

Bread, lettuce, and sliced onions.

Marinate the beef with the garlic powder, black pepper, worcestershire sauce, and chopped onions. Form into patties. Then stuff with the chopped cheese.

I did use a burger mold to make same size burgers every time.

Roll and form into a meatball then pat flat and add cheese bits on top.

(I made some jalapeno ones too!)

Set on a tray that has slits to have the oil drip away from the burgers.

Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes for a well done burger 25 minutes for medium well.

Then load up with your favorite toppings and enjoy!!!!!

Deanna Tan

Weight Loss Struggle and Pain

This is me at 200lbs.

At my highest I reached 200lbs. I did not look like I was 200lbs. No one believed me. This was actually a long time ago an old picture. I avoided taking pictures because of this. I always lied about my weight. 

I don't lie about my weight anymore. I realized it was lying to myself that I needed to get healthy. My kids need me for a long time.

Lets rewind and go back in time. When I was in high school I would binge eat then throw up. Sometimes I just would not eat at all. Surprisingly I am sharing this. I can't hide what I have done in my past. At my lowest I was 125 pounds. This is not the way to lose weight people. I am telling you it was the worst feeling in the world to do this to myself. I felt that I needed to be thinner because of what I saw on TV and magazines. I thought that if I could be skinny I would be so happy. Turned out that I was miserable because I couldn't stop doing this to myself. Great now I am crying and typing this. The whole time I did this I TOLD NOONE! I only told a couple people recently. So I know it will be a battle because I will always have those thoughts in my mind. "I can just eat this then throw it up", "I don't need to eat today", "I don't have to eat breakfast and lunch", and I know this is so hard to type for me because I am ashamed. People always say "Love yourself for who you are and not what you look like" but honestly who really thinks that deep down? I am being honest I do love myself for who I am but I want to love myself for what I look like too. I see so many skinny people and get jealous. Then again I got myself into this position. I need to get myself out.

As a teenager I had depression and I know that influenced my eating disorder. Then my medicine made me gain weight. I couldn't believe it and I would stop taking my medicine and get more depressed. I hit a low point and tried to commit suicide not just for my weight but other things in my life. I did not succeed. Then I found a new thing called "cutting". My scars have all faded now. Teachers used to ask me what happened and I would always lie. Family would ask and I would lie. I remember that one time I got so upset I tried to cut myself but I couldn't find anything so I used a end of a plastic paintbrush that was kind of sharp and tried to do it but my Uncle D found me and got so upset. Yet that didn't stop me from doing it. I wanted to do it more then ever. I would cut my stomach, thighs, wrists, and arms. I finally stopped after going to therapy for a few weeks. Then I got diagnosed with ADHD. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. So I gave up and just dealt with it. I did poorly in school and decided to get my GED. I was nominated Top Student, Who's Who Among High School Students, and United States Achievement Academy before all this. I am even in books that I still have. That was all gone. All because I didn't want to take my depression medication and that I did not know how to handle stress. 

So for anyone reading this going through what I just wrote please get help don't suffer please.

This is me at my lowest. You can tell in my face that I was really thin. Oh and thats my cousin DJ when he was a baby adorable right????

Here I am now at 182.5lbs working my ASS off to get to 140lbs. I have another 43lbs to lose but I am determined to lose it all. It is so hard for me to get this weight off. I already lost a great deal. Then I gained a few due to my monthly friend that suddenly appeared after 3 years a few days ago. I did not miss this. So I am trying even harder to get rid of all this weight now. 

So people out there trying to lose weight do not skip a meal thinking it will help.

Do not drink your calories.

Eat fresh foods and vegetable and if you can't afford it remember frozen is the next best thing.

Its not going to be easy for me to get to where I want to be. You are all following me on this tough journey. I hope to help and inspire any of you out there doing what I am doing and trying to get healthy and lose weight.

Thanks for reading.

Deanna Tan

Frustrations.

Me and my kids.

I know I am not alone on being a single mom, student, and all that.  I have to say though honestly I am seriously overwhelmed.  This blog is going to take you into my life.

So let me tell you about ME.

My name is Deanna. I am a single mother to two wonderful and amazing children. My daughter Lina is 6 years old going on 7 years this year. She is a top student and is a very patient sister. My son Raizo (Bobo) is going to be 2 in 11 days! He is very energetic, stubborn, and is a self influenced Pescetarian. He has never liked eating meat. Every now and then he will eat it but it won't stay down. The only thing that seems to stay down is SPAM. LOL yes we are spam lovers in this house. 

This picture sums up my kids perfectly. A crazy, wild, energetic boy and a calm, patient, and subdued girl.

Back to explaining me. I am 26 years old and on a weight loss journey that is having its ups and downs. I will be posting about that here as well. I make YouTube videos as well about everything actually. I haven't been making many recently since school started. I am a latecomer but I realized that I need a good job to support my kids. I am caring, loving, and sometimes a bit weird.

My first 5K with my aunt. It was AMAZING.

I have a crazy addiction to my iPhone, music, and strangely exercising. I hate smoking, drinking, or any of that nasty stuff. I do cook with wine though so whatever. I don't hate people that do it but its just my lifestyle choice so don't get offended. I really really love to cook. I cook anything I can possibly try.

My grilled chicken and quinoa salad.

I am on a mission to grow my hair out to my hip. I have always liked my hair long but once in a while I break that and cut my hair short! I love my makeup with a passion that I know a lot of girls and women share with me. 

One of my makeup looks.

I love animals. Going to the zoo for me is like a child in a candy store. I remember as a child I wanted to be a veterinarian. That thought has long passed when I realized I couldn't see animals suffering. I still hold a heart for all animals out there.

This is Roko he is my mini weenie.

I am going to college to be a Nurse. I am a latecomer for school. I should have thought about this a long time ago but my head was somewhere else and I was so into going out and having fun rather then school (DON'T DO THAT PEOPLE FOCUS ON YOUR EDUCATION).

My most recent midterm was so hard. I got 100% though making A's in all my classes!

I have a big heart and a little family. I love my family so much. In my house its me, my kids, my mom, and of course my dog. In CA is my uncle, aunt, three cousins, and their dog Pogi. My mom is such a strong woman with such determination. I hope to be half of what she is. She loves and cares for me and the kids when I needed her most she was always there. We did have a lot of problems. Then I realized I was the one that was causing the problems. Now we are closer then ever. The rest of my family is in CA. My Uncle Danny is my father figure in my life. We went through a lot and he has always been there for me. I am so grateful having him in my life. He is a awesome husband and father. My Aunt Alona and I had a rough beginning but now we are close. She is super crafty and she cracks me up. She is an amazing and caring mother. My cousin Yvonne is the oldest child in that house. Well she isn't a child anymore she is in college but I remember her when she was little and her little pigtails. She is athletic and smart. I know she will get far in life. My cousin Daphne is going to be 18 soon. I remember her in pigtails too. She is a anime, makeup, and book lover. She is crazy and hilarious all at the same time. Now for my little cousin DJ. He is a character. I always read about the conversations he has with his parents on Facebook and I can't help but laugh about it. My kids love him so much. I wish they could grow up together. My cousin Geoffrey which is my Uncle's son lives in Europe. I always miss him he is such an amazing cousin. I know we all miss him here.

My big but little family. 

My Uncle D, Aunt Alona, DJ, my Mom, Lina, Daphne, Me, Raizo, Geoffrey, and Yvonne.

So now you know more about me. I won't be sharing all my personal information here just the joys in my life and the frustrations. There are things that will be private that I will not share because that is for my life not the internet. 

Find me:

YouTube: DeannaTanMUA

Instagram: DeannaTanMUA

Twitter: DeannaTanMUA

Facebook: DeannaTanMUA

Deanna Tan